who am i kidding?

seriously, are you like me? i have to tell you how i am first, right? i am in broken arrow, oklahoma this morning...i was supposed to be at a plant sometime in the early to mid morning. i wanted to get up and go to a coffee shop early in order to get a cup of coffee and do my devotional. i was running a little late, but i have not been too consistent in spending time with the Lord this week...so i thought it was important so i was going anyway.

new coffee shop...pretty cool place, i get sit down and get comfortable, do my devo and then i am just reading my email and looking at a couple of blogs i read on occasion. i get a phone call...my guy at the customer i am supposed to be at...it is going to be mid morning before they are ready for me. so, i dont really have any plans...and nothing really pressing to do on email, i should be relaxed right?

i'm not...all i am thinking is that these other workers are going to be looking at me and thinking i am just slacking off not doing anything!! i need to do something to look busy!! hurry, i will get a report out of my "man purse" and look like i am busy. even when i am not busy, which is not verry stinkin often, i still feel like i need to be or pretend to be. HOW JACKED UP IS THAT. there are so many things wrong with that statement i would not even know where to start.

somehow, i sometimes base my level of importance on the amount of "busy" in my life. i got issues! the biggest reason i have issues....ok maybe not the biggest, but really big...yesterday i was so very busy!!! and when i talked to my wife, i was so anxious from the overwhelming list of tasks in front of me to do, i was hateful to her. i was hateful to her b/c she asked me to take my son a pair of gloves and a beanie to school...it was cold outside and he did not have any for recess. seriously, what in the world is wrong with me?

questions

i dont know about a faith that provides all the answers to life's mysteries. i need a faith that has more than simple answers to some of life's most complex questions. i need a God that is bigger than anything i can describe, i need a God who is greater than anything i can compare him to, and i need a God is bigger than the questions or answers that i have.

we have been struggling with 4 questions in our student ministry and on the surface they seem like the most basic questions. but when you kindof peel back the layers that they are wrapped in, you will see that they penetrate to the core of who we are or who we claim to be...

they are these...

1) Do you, YOU, believe that God is great? and how great is your God?
2) Do you believe that God's way to live is the best possible way to live?
3) Do you, again YOU, want to be in love with God?
4) Do you really want to live your life with the power of the Holy Spirit leading you everywhere He will lead you to go and living out the holiness that He leads us to live?

good luck with these questions...i hope you struggle with them as we have. they are all tough and they reveal much about us, but as you dig into them they will reveal much about how you view God and this life of following Him. probably for me, the hardest is the last one...i am not for sure that i want to know the explicit will of God for my life.

maybe i will post more about that later...