well, it has been a while...

it has been a while... this post is going to be in segments. catching up, what's new, spiritual stuff...

catching up

there are a multitude of reasons why i haven't posted in a long time. 1) i am busy! 2) i am pretty focused and this has lost some interest to me. 3) i feel like i have not had anything new to say.

our company is busy! like crazy blessing for our business. i can not explain it, although i am more focused...i still can not explain random people calling US in order to buy chemicals. typically, we call and we call and we call on potential customers before we hear anything! these days, it seems like once a week, there is someone calling needing something from us.

what's new

the family is great! for eric, baseball is starting this weekend. for kinley, soccer starts this weekend. i can't wait to see my little girl's first shot at organized athletics!! we are still at james river and feel like it is where we are supposed to be for now. we are leading a life group (not through jra, but a combo of people) and it is going really well. it grew some what stale for a while, i took some time off from leading and now it is kind of a shared responsibility. it seems to be going better now. the potter's house ministry is going really well. i am coming up on an anniversary as a board member there. i enjoy being on the backside of ministry there. for me, i have always been a hands on, lead the front line type of guy. with potters, it is teaching me the back side of things. how to lead from behind the scenes. honestly, it doesn't feel natural at all, it is challenging for me. it almost feels ineffective at times, mostly because it is harder to measure the effectiveness. it takes more effort to see the effects...it takes connectedness, which takes time and effort...

spiritual stuff

i don't know where to start. i'm learning and being challenged. words like gospel and kingdom are challenging me. hayward (happy birthday by the way!) has introduced me to these topics and the lens he, and some others, are looking into. what are they? what do they mean? not confined by traditions...but defined by what the word of God says. it is challenging a lot that i though i knew.

i feel like God is growing in my life. He is trying to get my attention on some things. one of the things is, i don't know as much as i thought i did. hum, that is funny to look at...but it is true. all i know is skewed by where and how i learned it. it isn't until i strip all of that away and learn from the Truth, that i know anything??? make sense? either way, i'm looking forward to what He has in store.

that is about it for now. see ya in another couple of months. :-)

update and possible year end post...

well, 2009 has not been a good blogging year for me. i am not too concerned about that, but just stating the obvious. 2009 has been a good business year for us. 2009 has been a good year all in all, the kids are doing great, kim and i just got back from a great get-away to Cancun, i went snow skiing for the first time AND LOVED it!, i led a small group of business leaders/entrepreneurs through a challenging video study based on the Q conference i attended in April. i am finding my way into the role of board-member at the Potter's house in springfield and really enjoying it!, I could go on and on...

one thing real quick that has been bothering me, b/c i said i would respond a long time ago. the post about heaven and if Jesus were not there. without getting theological about it, i think that is the way i think some times. i think heaven could be boring, or i think heaven will be good because of the people i miss here. i take my eyes off of Jesus.

i think it is a great exercise question to re-focus me every once in a while. make sure my priorities are where they should be. and i need those...

ok, back to year end thoughts. i am not sure i will make a resolution to blog more in 2010. i do not know what resolutions i will make..but holy crap it looks funny typing 2-0-1-0. That is just a few days away! That sounds so, Buck Rogers ... if you don't know who that is, you should not be reading this. Google him, one of the best tv show's ever...or at least from a 10 year old's perspective growing up in the 80's.

anyway, 2010 has the potential to be a great year! not just for me, but for all of us. it holds that potential, i love the time of new years...i always read Ecclesiastes this time of year. It is good to put things into perspective. It is also helpful in establishing some goals. If you know what it is important, really important to you...it is easier to make the right goals or at least make goals that are focused in the right direction.

merry Christmas and happy new year to you!

quick post...

...a quick post.

-first, i know i have not posted my thoughts on the last post. i will, sooner or later...i will!

now, we decorated our Christmas tree yesterday. not to sound like a scrooge or anything...but, in the process of decorating. i realized and remembered, at the same time, i can't stand doing that! i get grumpy and short...not for sure why. i just do.

i love Christmas. i'm just not a detail guy. and when it comes to details, i get meticulous. i can not stop until i think it is just right...or at least what i think is just right. that leads to more problems...lol (husbands and wives know what i mean. :-) )

it's done, less than perfect. but it is ok...it is what it is. i love the holiday season, can't wait to get on with the rest of the year!

tough...

WOULD YOU BE HAPPY IN HEAVEN IF CHRIST WERE NOT THERE?

The critical question for our generation—and for every generation—

is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the

friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and

all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beau-

ties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no

human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with

heaven, if Christ were not there?

God is the Gospel by John Piper

i am reading/listening to a book and this quote is from another book ... make sense?

i will try and un-pack some of my thoughts on this later, but i would love to hear yours.

mid-day friday post

i don't think that i have posted many mid-day posts, or at least it has been a long time.
this is my mid-day rant...i hate the preperation work. i hate sitting in the office trying to make sure that every thing is ready for the actual work that has to be done. i hate getting everything lined up, straightened out, double checked...i hate it all. your like...'dude, that's a lot of hate!' ...'yes it is!' , because that is how much i dis-like what i classify as "busy work".

i have a new account that is going on-line tomorrow. so, things have to be right and ready!

although i hate the prep work, it is absolutely necessary that it is done and done right. otherwise, when the "real work" happens...we have the potential to look like idiots. so, i procrastinate and i complain while i am doing the prep work.

i think this is my life most times. i am a big picture guy. get me at the front of the deal, center of the program and i am happy, comfortable and successful. or let me throw out 50 ideas of how things ought to be and cast a compelling vision. just don't ask me to dabble in the minutia of details. unfortunately or fortunately...depending on how you look at it, i am learning that true success happens because of the details. not in spite of them.

back to work! have a great halloween weekend!

legacy

what will be my legacy? i dont know if i have asked my self that lately, but i have been thinking about legacy. i have been thinking about my actions among others that i have influence over. about, what matters in forming a legacy. is it self perception or being able to step outside of your self. or if you think about legacy, does it mean that you probably won't have much of one...?

i dont know. somehow i think that our disciplines will determine our legacy. mark batterson had a quote on fb the other day, 'your ultimate destiny will be determined by your daily disciplines'. i liked that a lot! and it kicked me in the junk a lot at the same time.

i have no idea what my legacy will be, i really don't know that i am concerned with it too much. about the here and the now of legacy, when we are gone...make sense? but i am concerned with my ultimate destiny and making my life count for what counts! and it comes down, so many times, to the simple things. the daily things.

i posted several weeks ago that i was thinking about legacy. this past sunday, a student who i had ministered to about 3 or 4 years ago, ran into me as i was coming out of church...he was walking in. when i first met him he did not have a bible and i really had no idea of his spiritual background. but sunday he held up a tattered bible and said to me, 'look what i still have!' it was a bible that i had given to him at an outreach event the very first time i met him...it felt so good to see him holding that bible! it was something i needed to see...it reminded me of what God had done through me. the Story that He has included me in. the fact that He isnt done with me.

i am thinking legacy has to do with obedience. suffering instead of status. selflessness instead of selfishness. maturity. following more than leading. remembering and looking forward at the same time.

thanks for allowing random thoughts to flow from me... 2 posts in one week! you gotta be kidding me! have a good weekend. see ya in a week or so...

baseball

if you know me very well, if you don't let me enlighten you, i did not grow up a baseball fan. in fact, after the 94-95 MLB strike, i said i would never watch it again. i did not play baseball growing up, ever! no little league, no jr. high, no wiffle ball, no soft ball, no nothing. i didn't like it, why would i play it?

well, it is funny how your kids can change you... eric played baseball all summer and i help coach. we went to springfield cardinal games, we went to st. louis cardinals games, we practiced two days a week and sometimes had two games a week. we started practicing in may and played games until the very end of august.

eric improved so much through out the year and i had a blast. i was like a kid learning how to play. (i didnt let the parents know about my baseball knowledge or skill level...lol) i helped to coach with a buddy of mine from HS and a friend from down the street. it was a blast!

but now, i am a fan. a cards fan. not much cheering after their weekend elimination from the ALDS. and i have to ask my self, how do life long fans handle the disappointment? like cubs fans, year after year... you lose. how do you get geared up for the next season? now, let me say, i love wrigley field. eric and i got to go there last summer with a HS friend of mine and his son...and it is awesome! so much history and tradition and such raving fans....how do they do it?

anyway, just some random thoughts... i have a goal of getting back to more regular blogging. no promises, we'll see how that goes.