it has been a while

it has...maybe because my last post i was pretty hard on myself or maybe just busy or maybe just lazy??? either way, it has been a while

i wrote that sentence in january of this year! ha..that is funny.

so, lots of new stuff. some good, some bad, some i am not going to share...

i have been in a good place, a funny place...good, but funny. maybe i still am a little bit. i have been struggling with my identity in Christ. a battle between my head and my heart. most of the time i have knowledge of my identity, but sometimes i do not believe it. does that make sense? it is like i know some things about my papa, i was 10 when he died. i know some things about him, although not a ton. he lived about 7 hours away and he was pretty old when i was a kid. he had about 25 grand kids or so, and the only time we got to spend any time with him, about 15-18 other grand kids were there and there was not much if any "quality time" with papa. BUT, i still retain knowledge of him. he liked to widdle* (*sp). maybe you are familiar with this? it is just picking up any ol' stick and taking your pocket knife and carving the stick with your knife.(he was from the south, if you couldn't tell from the ol' and the pocket knife comment...lol) anyway, he liked that. he had a buzz cut...i used to like to rub it, all of the younger grandkids did. so you see, i retain knowledge about him. but i dont, nor did i, know him!

my relationship with Jesus is sometimes like this. i retain info about him, all the while not really knowing him. and the knowledge that i retain is from several years ago...it makes it tough to believe passages like this one...

6It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.

good thing He didnt wait on my help to save me, i could have not recognized him or mistaken him. immense with mercy, and an incredible love, he embraced us. hmm...that is amazing! i want in on some of that...

good to be back...